We are forever hearing about the way mothers put themselves last and don't take care of themselves. This isn't anything new. It's been the topic of talk shows, makeover shows and even conversations with my family and friends. Whenever the topic is brought up, we cover things like eating right and exercising. I thought those were the main ways that moms put themselves last. But recently, while talking to my sister, she pointed out ways I put myself last that have nothing to do with eating right or exercising.
For instance, whenever my husband is going to be home with Peyton for the day, I prepare everything ahead of time. I make sure plenty of bottles are washed, I get a change of clothes ready in case she needs them, I have food prepared, toys organized, wipes and diapers stocked, etc. I do this because I don't want him to have any added stress for the day, I want to make it as easy as possible for him. Why don't I do that for myself? There are times when Peyton is crying and EVERY bottle is in the sink waiting to be washed, or her wipe container is empty right when I've started to change a very messy diaper. When I'm unorganized like that, it only adds stress to my days.
I know that at night, when your child is FINALLY sleeping, the last thing you want to do is wash bottles, but when I need a bottle in the middle of the night I am cursing myself for not taking the 3 minutes it would've taken to wash them. I also know I am a good mom, but I could be a better, calmer mom, if I took 20-30 minutes to prepare for the next day. Most of the moments when I am super stressed are when I'm trying to get things done and Peyton won't let me put her down or stop crying or take even a thirty minute nap. However, I have realized that so many of these moments could be avoided if I just took the time to make my own day as easy and stress free as I try to make my husbands.
I really don't know why this hadn't ever occured to me before. And I really don't know why so many of us do this to ourselves! My goal is to be more organized so that I can have less PREVENTABLE stressful moments!
Moms: Let's take better care of ourselves, not just physically, but mentally as well!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Saturday, January 19, 2013
The Worst
Do you have days when you feel like you're the worst? The worst mom. The worst wife. The worst housekeeper. The worst dog owner. The worst friend. I have days when I feel like I'm the worst at everything. I look around my house and see dog fur in the corners or I stop to think when I gave Peyton her last bath and realize it was at least 3 nights ago. Some days I completely forget to brush her teeth! My poor dog doesn't get walked very regularly at all and he certainly needs it. And the only time my sweet husband gets my full attention is for about five minutes before I fall asleep. THE WORST!
I'm not writing this so that people will comment on all the good things I am able to accomplish and how loved my daughter is, or how it's more important to play with her than to have a clean house. I know all those things. But there are still days when I feel like the worst.
One of the biggest problems is that I compare myself to what I see other people doing. People that have more kids than I do and have a much cleaner house. Or people that have more kids and work full time and still make homemade meals and keep up on their scrapbooking and host amazing dinners or birthday parties. I sit there in awe and wonder how they do it. I can barely keep up with the bare necessities most days, how are they going above and beyond??? What is the secret???
I can't remember the last time I put on make up when I wasn't going anywhere, or sat and loved my dog for no reason, or made my husband a cute note like I used to. Has having Peyton really changed everything THAT much? How does becoming a mother make me feel so inadequate in every other area?
I honestly am not trying to have a pity party. I'm just expressing some of the things I've been going through since becoming a mom. I know I'm a good mom, 95% of the time. I really don't need reassurance. I have a wonderful husband who tells me what a great mom I am all the time. And logically I know I'm a good wife. I don't do everything that some wives do for their husbands (like pack their suitcases for a trip), but he knows he is loved. When I step back and look at it, I think I do a pretty decent job of living my life, but why do I still go through those moments of feeling like the worst? Is it just part of the humbling job of motherhood?
Having my sweet baby girl has been the greatest, hardest, most humbling, most amazing thing I've ever done in my life. I don't think I'm inadequate, I think I'm realizing I can be better. I think being a mom makes us reevaluate who we are, because who we are is who our daughters will become. It makes us take a good look at the way we treat our husbands and our friends to make sure we're being the example we need to be, for our children to learn from and for them to live up to. It makes us realize we are always being watched, not just by God, but by our children and that is sometimes more frightening.
So in the end, if having Peyton forces me to step it up and be a little bit better wife, or a little bit better housekeeper, or a little bit better person overall, then I will always be in debt to her.
I'm not writing this so that people will comment on all the good things I am able to accomplish and how loved my daughter is, or how it's more important to play with her than to have a clean house. I know all those things. But there are still days when I feel like the worst.
One of the biggest problems is that I compare myself to what I see other people doing. People that have more kids than I do and have a much cleaner house. Or people that have more kids and work full time and still make homemade meals and keep up on their scrapbooking and host amazing dinners or birthday parties. I sit there in awe and wonder how they do it. I can barely keep up with the bare necessities most days, how are they going above and beyond??? What is the secret???
I can't remember the last time I put on make up when I wasn't going anywhere, or sat and loved my dog for no reason, or made my husband a cute note like I used to. Has having Peyton really changed everything THAT much? How does becoming a mother make me feel so inadequate in every other area?
I honestly am not trying to have a pity party. I'm just expressing some of the things I've been going through since becoming a mom. I know I'm a good mom, 95% of the time. I really don't need reassurance. I have a wonderful husband who tells me what a great mom I am all the time. And logically I know I'm a good wife. I don't do everything that some wives do for their husbands (like pack their suitcases for a trip), but he knows he is loved. When I step back and look at it, I think I do a pretty decent job of living my life, but why do I still go through those moments of feeling like the worst? Is it just part of the humbling job of motherhood?
Having my sweet baby girl has been the greatest, hardest, most humbling, most amazing thing I've ever done in my life. I don't think I'm inadequate, I think I'm realizing I can be better. I think being a mom makes us reevaluate who we are, because who we are is who our daughters will become. It makes us take a good look at the way we treat our husbands and our friends to make sure we're being the example we need to be, for our children to learn from and for them to live up to. It makes us realize we are always being watched, not just by God, but by our children and that is sometimes more frightening.
So in the end, if having Peyton forces me to step it up and be a little bit better wife, or a little bit better housekeeper, or a little bit better person overall, then I will always be in debt to her.
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